Some intimate relationships lead to marriage and a happy life thereafter. Others lead to heartbreaks. And, when a baby is involved, it even becomes twice as difficult to move on – or to find another partner.
The baby stands as a constant reminder of the past, and the unbreakable bond with an ex-partner. Talk of beautiful mistakes and scars.
This week, a single mom and single dad tell us what it feels like to stand holding a baby after a relationship collapses, and what they now look for in a relationship to avoid making the same mistakes.
Diana Olonde, 24; Journalist
The last time I was in a relationship was two years ago. We had our ups and downs but I was determined to make it work.
I conceived a few years into the relationship, and this led to frequent disagreements between us.
One of the things my parents wanted to understand was whether my boyfriend had taken responsibility for the pregnancy, and I am glad he did.
The arrival of my baby was not very well planned for. The pregnancy came with a lot of challenges owing to the fact that I had no source of income. I was fully dependent on my parents.
At some point, I resorted to doing part time jobs in order to buy a few items in preparation for the birth of my baby.
As an African woman, we are always advised to be patient in the face of financial constraints to avoid ‘losing’ our partners.
That is exactly what I did. With time, however, my parents began piling pressure on us. They wanted to know the status of our relationship.
It reached a point we both couldn’t take it anymore. We broke up when I was eight months pregnant.
Since we parted ways, I have never heard from him. My little prince is now two years old and I can’t stop thinking about how blessed I am to be his mother.
Motherhood has taught me a lot in life and revealed a number of characters I would have never encountered without him.
The way I handle issues and relationships has completely changed. I have to be double careful about the decisions I make especially if they involve my child.
Many times I have had to walk out of relationships early after realising that the man in question was only faking his love for my son. Some men assume that being a single mother is a weakness, so they pretend to love your child just to trap you.
I am not in a hurry to get into any …….